Knock Knock, whos there??

by BonBon Flalasky

Not your average weather forecaster.

Not your average weather forecaster.

It was a dark, cold, eerie night, when I was busy watching my favorite TV show, Heehaw, when all of a sudden.....BAM! There was a loud bang at the door.

I thought it might have been the pizza boy so I got my money and opened the front door. To my suprise it wasnt the pizza boy Dave...but instead Killer Mutant Snow Bunnies!! They all at one time attacked me. I screamed....AHHH!

They responded to my scream by biting me multiple times. I said OUCH so they laughed at me HA HA HA.......They were teasing me with there evil, giggly laugh. I couldnt stand it so I crawled to the barn, and brought out the pitchfork I use to cut hay.

I went back into the house and picthed them one after the another until there was just one bunny left...the leader of the mutant snow bunnies..HIs name was Flppers and he flipped flopped like a fool. I pitched his big floppy ears to the door of the kitchen and he sqeeled like a dying pig. Hhahaha i say, III WIIIINNNNN!!!!!

The moral of this story is you should always look out your peephole before you open the door, you never know what might be knocking!

Barry's Response

Sorry I missed it.

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by: Anonymous

At first, I thought this article was a joke. I mean, the rabbit in that picture is obviously fake! Come on, guy, we're all suspicious adults here. But as you described a late-night knocking, I became more interested. Your story seems eerily similar to mine. Then you wrote about Floppers, the demon rabbit intent on harvesting souls. Cowering in fear beneath my desk, I was able to read the rest of the story from a reflection in the window. I thought you had defeated him, but you only 'pitched' his ears to the door. Was he gone when you went back to get the pizza? I fear you did not kill him, and he will now be hunting you. The only advice I can give you is keep a stock of carrots filled with garlic, and may God have mercy on your soul.

by: Christine


1.) What were you smoking when you saw these killer mutant bunnies?

2.) Did the pizzaboy Dave ever come by with your pizza, or did you starve waiting for him?

3.) What did you do with that pitchfork after killing all these mutant bunnies?

Anyways, interesting dream you had there...!

I'd really rather you had not done that.
by: Susan

May the Flying Spaghetti Monster forgive you! As told in the Great Gospel, Third Holy "I'd really rather you didn'ts", it is written:

I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, okay?

May the great linguini have mercy on your sole, and marinara rain down in infinite blessing, despite your transgressions against bunnies, snow, and Ragu in general, I pray the pizza guy finally showed up.


Great Article
by: Anita

The bunny is so.... cute. It was a lovely, interesting and a light article.

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Thank you to my research and writing assistants, ChatGPT and WordTune, as well as Wombo and others for the images.

GPT-4, OpenAI's large-scale language generation model (and others provided by Google and Meta), helped generate this text.  As soon as draft language is generated, the author reviews, edits, and revises it to their own liking and is responsible for the content.